


i have no idea either

by MrAquaticKitty



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: I have no idea what happened, I regret everything, M/M, Mind fuck?, You decide!, crack fic?, ferdiand is also german???, ferdinand von aegir is a lawyer, hubert doesnt wanna go to berlin, hubert is getting arrested?, it goes downhill really fast, not sure if modern au or weird canon divergence, read notes for an explanation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 18:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21498418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAquaticKitty/pseuds/MrAquaticKitty
Summary: Hubert finds out Ferdinand is a lawyer and they talk about the Court of Arbitration before a completely unrelated 500 year timeskip happens./please read notes for an explanation/
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Kudos: 4





	i have no idea either

**Author's Note:**

> i have discovered a website from a video that uses a neural network to complete text and decided to let it write ferdibert (talktotransformer is the name of the site)  
i have no idea how it does this, but i started messing around and got some mildly amusing results. i 100% got this idea from game grumps. i'm not gonna pretend like i know anything, cause i am just a nimble meme boy, but i hope whatever happens will be entertaining.  
for this, i have written out part of their a+ support then i let the website complete it. the website doesn't write out really long stuff so I'll be continuously copypasting it back into the website to continue until i say otherwise.
> 
> (Part i wrote for the website: "Hello Ferdinand," Hubert said to the prime minister. "Are those coffee beans?" He asked. "Is it a gift? for someone you fancy?" Hubert asked mockingly. Ferdinand nodded. "A gift, yes, for you.")
> 
> i attempted this multiple times because the site kept trying to get rid of all mentions of Hubert  
the first attempt resulted in Ferdinand repeating the phrase "im a good boy im a good boy" then talking to himself and calling the other version of himself a good boy. it kinda turned into ferdinand/ferdinand so i tried again. since the website doesn't allow really long text, I have to edit it so that the text always has mentions of their names(will be marked with *). other than that, I have not messed with the text.
> 
> let the games begin.

"Hello Ferdinand," Hubert said to the prime minister. "Are those coffee beans?" He asked. "Is it a gift? for someone you fancy?" Hubert asked mockingly. Ferdinand nodded. "A gift, yes, for you."

"Don't be a prude," Hubert said. "But it is a gift, is it not?" "Well, it was given to me by my uncle, a German," Ferdinand replied. "But he is dead and not around very often." "So you are not really in a position to refuse it, then?" "No, no, no, no," Ferdinand said. "It is a gift for me," Hubert said. "I'll go get you some tea and coffee and then we can have a nice chat." They sat in the garden for a few minutes, just talking. Then Ferdinand said, _______________ The following day, Ferdinand brought tea and coffee. Hubert was quite pleased to have an excuse to talk. He was in high spirits. "How can I put this," Hubert said, "if you aren't in a position to refuse, what is your position?" "Well," Ferdinand replied, "I'm a lawyer, you see." "Then we can have a drink." "Well," said Ferdinand again, "I've got a position in the Court of Arbitration, in case they want to hear me on the matter of your marriage." "I suppose they will." "Oh, no; I'm a lawyer at the Court of Arbitration in Berlin." Hubert turned red with anger, and said to me, "Oh, my God! What are we going to do?" "Well," said Ferdinand, "why don't you tell the Court of Arbitration that you don't want them to hear him, or you'll be in a bit of trouble yourself?" 

"But I don't want to go to Berlin, Ferdinand," said Hubert*, "for the simple reason that I can't go there to give evidence against you." "Well, but I'm not in a position to give you any evidence against me," said Ferdinand*. "Well, you may say the world is full of things which I am not guilty of, and so you have no reason to doubt my innocence, and that makes me suspicious of your guilt. But I am very much afraid that I shall never be able to prove my innocence to you." "Well, then, I shall ask the Court of Arbitration to allow me to be present at your trial," said Ferdinand, "but I don't believe that your witnesses can be admitted." "How can I be so sure," said Hubert*, "that the witnesses can be admitted? You say you know that the Court of Arbitration never allows witnesses, so I must conclude that no witness is admitted."

"I beg to state that if you want the Court of Arbitration to be present, it is in your power to make your case public, and in any case the Court of Arbitration must hear it." Said Ferdinand*. "I beg to state that if the Court of Arbitration wishes to hear your case, it must hear it; but if you want me to see that it does hear it, I must see that it does hear it." Hubert said*. "The Court of Arbitration must hear it, and we must not let it hear it otherwise, for if it does not hear it, it is bound by its own p. 175 rules to dismiss the case."  
Ferdinand said, "I think it will be easier to dismiss it if you let the Court of Arbitration [Page 206] decide whether you are a citizen of the kingdom."

The Council of State being then composed, the judges took their seats

The Council of State on the case of Henry the 6th of October 1640.

And the case was argued before them. The judges decided that Henry was a citizen of the kingdom of England, and the Council of State on the other side, that he was a subject of the king of Poland, who had brought the suit against Henry in order to seize and remove him from the country, for which purpose he had sent him to the court of Chancery as a prisoner of war. But when the case was brought before the king of Poland, the king of Poland said, that as long as Henry was a subject of the king of England, it was lawful for the king of England to take away the kingdom of Poland from the King of Poland, and to grant it to the king of Poland. And that he who was then in power was bound to do this for the glory of God and for the good of the king of England, to whose service the king of Poland would submit. In the mean time, the case of Henry was carried before the king of Spain, and was decided in the same manner, and he too made this concession. But there remained Henry, at this time, a subject of his. He was therefore deprived of the crown, and his kingdom was given to the king of France, a king in whom he did not think it fit to place himself.

**Author's Note:**

> been real sicc and didn't wanna write anything but then i discovered this site and my shitposting powers have bloomed. hopefully, i can get another chapter of my main shitpost out soon ^^
> 
> this was way harder to set up than I thought ^^'
> 
> i tried so hard to keep those two in it but it reaaallly wanted to do its own thing so i let it
> 
> i really love the first sentence it generates for hubert


End file.
